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Social science, behavioral economics, cognitive psychology -- sound complex? Let's fix that. The Art of Charm Podcast is where self-motivated guys and gals, just like you, come to learn from a diverse mix of experienced mentors, including the world's best professional and academic minds, scientists, innovators, coaches, relationship experts, entrepreneurs, bestselling authors, and other brilliant minds. This show will make you a higher performer, a better networker, a deeper connector and, most importantly, a better thinker.

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359: Marsha Shandur | Saying Yes to Networking

December 29th, 2014

Episode 285 of 806 episodes

Networking can be fun. "Networking is a long-term relationship, not a one-night stand." -Marsha Shandur The Cheat Sheet: Is everyone afraid of networking events? The top two ways to add value to someone no matter who they are. What's the spotlight effect? What does Helen Fielding have to teach us about networking? What is Marsha's "secret sentence" she uses to get a response from people? And so much more... Do you like networking or is it just a necessary evil only to be done when absolutely necessary? Whether you like it, hate it or think you're terrible at it, our guest for today's show will have advice, suggestions and tools you can put to good use immediately. Marsha Shandur is a networking expert and coach who helps people enjoy networking, and become very good at it. On today's episode we talk about why networking can be and really is fun, when you approach it the right away. We also discuss how to get over your fear of striking up conversations at events, how to properly follow up after an event for maximum impact, and how to create long-lasting connections that become solid relationships over time. All of that and much more on episode 359 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: If you asked a room of 300 people to close their hands, then raise their hands if they dislike networking about 255 people would raise their hands. At least that's what our guest for episode 359 says! Marsha Shandur has done this exercise with crowds and that's what she has discovered: almost everyone hates networking. She's here today to help us overcome that hatred, our fear of approaching new people at events and find the best ways to connect and become friends with the people we meet at networking events. Because that's her job, Marsha and I have plenty of informative topics and points we share. The first topic we address is the biggie: what to do if you're afraid or hesitant to event attend an event. Marsha has a number of suggestions to dealing with this very common fear. First and foremost understand that most people share your fear, so don't beat yourself up over it. Instead give yourself a specific goal or a specific "out" for the evening. Promise yourself you'll attend the event for 2 hours, and if you aren't enjoying yourself after those 2 hours then you can leave. Or make it your goal to talk with 4 new people that night, and when you're done with those four conversations you can go home. Now that you've established your intention for the event, the second thing you can do isto ask yourself this one question when you walk into theevent. And that question is "Who here would I be friends with?". When you find those people, strike up a conversation and connect with them because networking and networking events are about making friends, creating fun and productive connections. If the idea of initiating conversations with a stranger (or strangers) strikes fear into your heart, there is good news and bad news according to Marsha. She says the good news is nearly everyone else is afraid of talking to people they don't know. The bad news? You're probably always going to be afraid to take that first step. Marsha says to take it anyway. When you make that initial connection the person you talk with will most likely be so grateful you did (because they were too afraid to) that they will remember you. You'll leave an impression. Another great way to make an impact on the people you meet, in a positive way, is to ask questions. And these aren't the usual "what do you do" questions that most people ask, while waiting for you to finish so they can talk about and pitch themselves. These are questions Marsha recommends to create connection and build rapport. A specific example she gives is to ask people how their week has been or if it's a Monday or Tuesday ask how their weekend went. Odds are good that you'll hear something in their answer that clues you in to who they are, what they do and/or what they love. And when you hear them talk about what they love, ask more questions. When people talk about their passions they feel good and when you're the one asking about their passions you're the one making them feel good. They'll remember you for that feeling you gave them. We also talk about how to follow up with people after the event (and how this same technique works to connect with anyone through email), and how to get out of an awkward conversation with grace and aplomb, and TONS more. This is a dandy of a conversation, listen in and you'll walk away with an arsenal of networking knowledge courtesy of Marsha. A big thank you to Marsha for being here and sharing so generously, check out the resources for a link to email templates that include her "secret sentence" that will get anyone to do what you ask them to do! Special thanks to all of you for listening, as always. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS MARSHA SHANDUR! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Marsha know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Marsha on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Marsha Shandur'sweb site Marsha Shanduron Twitter Marsha Shandur'stemplates, including her secret sentence You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad!Email meinstead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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