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Social science, behavioral economics, cognitive psychology -- sound complex? Let's fix that. The Art of Charm Podcast is where self-motivated guys and gals, just like you, come to learn from a diverse mix of experienced mentors, including the world's best professional and academic minds, scientists, innovators, coaches, relationship experts, entrepreneurs, bestselling authors, and other brilliant minds. This show will make you a higher performer, a better networker, a deeper connector and, most importantly, a better thinker.

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398: Michelle Lederman | The Laws of Likability

April 29th, 2015

Episode 343 of 769 episodes

Network to create lifelong connections. "Vulnerability leads to credibility." -Michelle Lederman The Cheat Sheet: Can you fake confidence? If so, how? Why the real you is the best you. The key to being more authentic. How many times should you try something new before throwing in the towel? What is the 3 words activity? And so much more... Networking and relationships are the building blocks of a successful life. It's a point we drive home on many of our shows, but how do we do it authentically? How do we create connection through clarity and confidence? Our guest for today's show has the answers to all of those questions! Michelle Lederman is an author, speaker, coach and self-professed recovering CPA who writes and speaks on the topics of clarity, confidence, connection and likability. Listen in for all of that and moreon episode 398 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show: Michelle Lederman wrote the book on likability, literally! Her 11 Laws of Likability is a guide based on 3 pillars of great relationships: clarity, confidence and connection. When these three pillars are in place you can build likability with the people you meet and interact with, forming solid foundations for lifelong connections. And it starts with clarity. Michelle says you have to be clear on your intent. What do you want people to think of when they think about you? What impression do you want to leave your next date with or the people you interview with for your next job or promotion? Get clear on that first. Then move on to confidence. Confidence is one of the most persuasive traits you can possess. But what comes first - the experiences to give you confidence or the feeling of confidence? Although it's a little like the chicken vs. the egg dilemma, Michelle says you can authentically fake it til you make it! While that sounds contradictory, it'ssimply means to really find the authenticity in the acting as if part of the equation. So authentically act as if you are confident and eventually you will be. The final piece of the puzzle is connection. Authenticity and likability are obviously important aspects of connection. Have you ever spoken with someone in a seemingly real way only to come away from the conversation realizing they had a mask on? That doesn't create a bond, and there's no foundation for a future relationship if the other person never lets you see the real them. In other words, be authentic. If you aren't sure if you are authentic with others you'll have to spend some time reflecting on this. A great way to reevaluate a conversation or experience later is to ask yourself if you said or did anything just to make the other person happy or comfortable. If you did, you were being inauthentic. Before beating yourself up about it simply take a look at why you were inauthentic. Were you concerned with looking good or were you caught up in your own discomfort? Find out why and then figure out what you can do next time to be real and be yourself. Then go out and do it. Another great way to be more authentic is to get uncomfortable! Michelle recommends doing so in baby steps and creating small wins for yourself. If you aren't a super social person the next time you go out make small talk with one person. Sure it will feel uncomfortable and maybe even awkward but you are stretching yourself and learning more about who you really are. Michelle recommends doing a new, uncomfortable activity like this 10 times and reflecting on it after each experience. If you still hate doing it after 10 tries you can stop and try something else. On this episode Michelle and I also discuss her 3 words exercise and how to apply it to your life for more likability, as well as how to maintain relationships once they're started. Listen in for her golden nuggets of wisdom today and we'll see you next time on The Art of Charm! THANKS MICHELLE LEDERMAN! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Michelleknow by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Michelleon Twitter! Resources from this episode: Michelle Lederman's web siteMichelleon Twitter11 Laws of Likability, by Michelle LedermanHeroes Get Hired,by Michelle LedermanThe Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: Click Here to Support The Show at our sponsor Lynda.com! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad!Email meinstead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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