Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin

My experiments in the pursuit of happiness and good habits


Of All the Posts I’ve Ever Written, This Is One of My Favorites.

May 11th, 2015

Episode 58 of 540 episodes

Assay: Lately I’ve been doing some research on Thomas Merton (long story), and that got me thinking about Flannery O’Connor, and that got me thinking about a post that I wrote several years ago. Of all the posts I’ve ever written, this post is one of my favorites. So I’ve decided to post it again: Years ago, my husband and I fixed up a very close friend with another friend. They fell in love, it was great. But within a few years, he got sick. She stood by him through it all. Then he died. It was awful. And it was very, very hard on our friend. It was a sad situation for many reasons. As the years passed, one thing continued to bother me: I felt we had put a beloved friend in the path to sorrow. It had been inadvertent and well-intentioned, but still, we had brought all this pain into our good friend’s life. I mentioned this to my husband, and he said something that completely changed my thinking. He said, “Yes, it was very hard on her. But think how much better it was for him.” This thought, obvious as it is, had never occurred to me. I realized ...

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