Episode

Violet Blue's Open Source Sex

Violet Blue ®

This is the new school of sexuality. Oprah Magazine: Open Source Sex is "one of the most popular adult programs on iTunes." Erotica, sex ed and more with sex educator, author and columnist Violet Blue ®

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open source sex 54

June 8th, 2007

Episode 26 of 46 episodes

Gimme some sugar, baby -- here's a quick and sweet lecture about playing with the prostate for pleasure. Yum! This podcast is also a textcast: click the center of your iPod's trackwheel three times to read the text as you listen to me talk.* * * * * * *The Anus and ProstateSurprisingly little is known about the prostate gland's pleasure purposes. It produces prostatic fluid (the clear liquid that carries sperm during ejaculation), it grows as a man ages (sometimes dangerously), and in case you missed the last podcast -- it can feel really, really good when sexually stimulated. Prostatic fluid comprises up to a third of the liquid volume in ejaculate. It’s clear that it plays an important role in the male pleasure cycle, and it has become touted as the male g-spot. Some call it the "p-spot". When a man reaches the point of orgasmic “no return? (ejaculatory inevitability), the prostate gland joins the seminal vesicles and other ducts in a little do-si-do of pleasant-feeling spasms and rhythmic contractions to create ejaculate -- and this is before the contractions of orgasm. If you are stimulating a man’s prostate prior to and during ejaculation, you can often feel the gland swell to hardness, then contract before his orgasm.The Male G-SpotThe prostate gland is within the front wall of the anal opening, usually around 1 to 3 inches inside and forward (toward the front of the body or belly button). Its location inside the wall is just behind the bulb of the penis, beneath the bladder, surrounding the urethra in a ring. Because the prostate is anchored at the internal base of the penis, when a man thrusts hard with an erect penis he transmits highly pleasurable sensations to the prostate. It’s a little larger than a quarter in size, though it is heart-shaped and is usually described as being the size of a small walnut.One of the reasons that a man might like anal play is because massaging the prostate gland feels incredibly pleasurable and can make orgasm very powerful. But he might also like it because the anus and anal opening is rich with nerve endings that feel good to the touch; the 15,000 pudendal nerve fibers that wire and electrify the entire pelvis interact with the nerve bundles in the anus and prostate. There are also psychological factors in play here -- what's a filthier insult than ass, what's dirtier than shit, what's as insultingly feminine as penetration (and liking it)? He may like that it’s a big taboo, that it’s a “dirty? thing to do; maybe no one touches him there and it means a lot to have you care about his pleasure; or it may be part of a dominant/submissive fantasy scenario in which he “makes? you do it, or you “make? him submit to it. One thing is certain -- the men who like anal stimulation like it a lot, and for many of these men, prostate stimulation can turn an orgasm into an unforgettable experience. But wait -- ass class is still in session: the perineum stretches from the base of the testicles to the anus, where it is no longer perineum and definitely ass. It has some hair, either a light, downy covering, or a thick, coarse carpet -- it’s different on every man. All humans have hair around their anus, whatever your gender; if you don’t, then you either shave it or are too young to be reading this. Between his cheeks, you’ll see the anal opening, a pucker that will differ in color from the skin on the rest of the body. In fact, it’s common for the thin skin surrounding the pucker to be lighter or darker in color between the cheeks.Like the prostate, penis and most internal orgasms of the body, the anus is controlled by what are known as "smooth muscles", meaning that they're not striated nor are they bulkable like biceps, and like any smooth or shifty character, they are indeed out of your control. So, flexing a cock won't make it bigger, and having anal orgasms won't give you "six-pack" butt muscles -- though an increase in orgasmic muscle tone is good for all pelvic functions and healthy for stimulating blood flow to the genital region. Interestingly, there are several sphincter muscles in the human body (like the iris of the eye), but the ones that matter here are the two anal sphincter muscles, the inner, which is smooth and involuntary, and the outer, which is under voluntary control and will more or less behave when you tell it to. The anal opening is packed with nerve endings that make it pleasurable to play with when the owner is aroused. Anal play is fun and feels good if you play according to the terrain; the anus is not self-lubricating so you must always use lots of lube. The skin is thin and tears easily so you have to touch and penetrate with items that are absolutely smooth. The muscles are sometimes slow to relax, so you too must be slow to invade their space. And because the inner muscles are involuntary, they push and pull things in and out as they please, so you must take care never to insert items that could get "lost" in the rectum. Because then, you and your smooth operators will wind up in the ER. While this all may seem like a guide to safer spelunking rather than down and dirty fucking al fresco, you really don’t need a flashlight to find the prostate, or be a sex expert to make it feel wonderful as you go along in search of the prize. To feel the prostate, insert a well-lubricated finger inside his anal opening and stroke toward the front of his body, in a “come-hither? motion. It may be too soft to feel easily in its unaroused state; in fact, you may not be able to feel it at all until he becomes aroused, when it swells and hardens. Similarly to the g-spot in women, the prostate may trigger the feeling of needing to urinate when stroked. For men who aren’t ready for penetration, you can stimulate the prostate indirectly by massaging the perineum in firm circles with the flat of your thumb. Some men like perineum massage only when they’re aroused, and some don’t like it at all—when in doubt, ask. Beneath your fingers, you'll feel that the gland is rounded, shaped like a walnut, but slightly cleaved down the center so it has a furrowed seam and two subtle halves that can be felt with the pad of your finger (when touched from inside the anus). In size it can be anywhere from the size of a small chestnut to a large walnut, or even larger in men over forty. When he’s aroused, it swells and becomes firm to the touch, and it’s a lot easier to feel it. Plus, it’s much more fun to touch when he’s hot and bothered.Apart from possibly making him feel like peeing, touching his prostate will certainly make him feel a fullness and pressure that he can feel in his penis. Juicy men who are prone to leaking pre-come may leak a little more when you massage their prostate; that’s because the prostate is where the fluid comes from. Massage it gently but firmly; you can simply move your finger in the come-hither motion, or you can keep your curved finger stiff and move it in and out. As he gets close to orgasm the gland will swell more, and it will get quite hard before he ejaculates. Summit, reached; view, breathtaking. * * * * * * My podcast learned about the "taint" from Libsyn.com Violet Blue: tinynibbles.com Click here to launch iTunes: Open Source Sex

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